Why Does the BBC Thinks We Throw Poop?

One of the charming things about the BBC is that one is inclined to to read all their news in a British voice. Another is that the racist/anti-semitic/homophobic third comment in the comments section that is required by the gods of the internet is somewhat softened by being couched in “the King’s Speech”. So quaint and charming is their cultural obliviousness, and that is why I am always charmed when they write about the “Americas” even though, like highlander, there can clearly only be ONE America.

Oh, the Brits, with their recent investigative report on “Why Are Americans So Angry About Petrol Prices?”

Once I discovered what “petrol” was (hint: not, as my mother told me, a “Pee troll” a religious creature who “re-circumcises” boys who forget to put the toilet seat down), I could not but chuckle–not to the point of any petrol leakage–at the charming curiosity.

America is like the zoo to the British, a curious place to study creatures that look so much like them but yet are so mysterious, complex in their own right, their eyes, so human, their thoughts so familiar, yet far (Sounds better in a British voice).

Other questions I think are worth exploring: “Why are Americans afraid of Mexicans?” “Why do Americans wear pants with words across the bum?” “Is Lady Gaga a Sign of American Proto-Religion?”

Of greater relevance, while trying to understand why we get angry and throw our poop when gas prices is high is why Americans treat cyclists like petulant children?

Well, as a self-appointed, ill-informed ambassador for Americans (a lesser version of the great diplomat, Cheeta, Tarzan’s ambassador), I postulate that most people stopped riding a bicycle at 16, and therefore use dubious logic to conclude that ALL cyclists, must therefore be punk-ass 16-year-olds.

As evidence of this is the slightly condescending, unfunny PSA from the NYCDOT, telling New York cyclists to “like, don’t be jerks, seriously”.While I am one to enjoy humorous PSAs (ONLY if they are voiced by British actors), I can’t help but thinking that a similar campaign telling drivers to Not be asses, Not Text, Recognize that a Car is a Hurtling two-ton pile of steel and not a magic and friendly carpet, might be a much more effective way to make the streets safer.

I appreciate the overall effort to educate a growing cycling population about bicycle safety, but if we are to imply with ads like this that all cyclists have the maturity and hormonally influenced judgment of a 16-year-old, then perhaps we should re-consider our encouragement of a driving culture that begins, at…OMG! 16.

Another headline, just for the road. “Why do Americans Behave like Delusional Ostriches when it Comes to Energy Policy?” and leave you with this articles on the GOP-sponsored “Putting the Gulf Back to Work Act,” which, amongst other things, would give the Oil industry a shot at governing themselves by sluicing any anti-oil civil suits to the Fifth Circuit Appeals court, which has been criticized for its close relationship to Oil Companies.

The logic for that, I am sorry to say O Brits, is beyond even me, your loyal Cheeta.


About Big Adam

A NYC doorman, a community organizer, wannabe ape, sometimes blogger, sometimes writer, always crossword puzzle incompleter, I will ride bicycles with your papa, dance Bhangra with your mama, take you on dates that cost nada.
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