White people with dreadlocks: Fight Hydraulic Fracturing

As an activist, it really is one of my favorite things to get together a bunch of people and shout our political positions in rhyming format.  This is especially fun if people haven’t bathed and there is at least one white guy with dreadlocks.  As we say, “the protest has not started until Rob Zombie says something anti-corporate.”  Also, the protest isn’t over “until everyone starts doing yoga,” and it doesn’t get freaky “until everyone starts massaging each other.”

These protests are great for producing civil unions and bizarre natural birthing situations involving two pineapples, a priestess, and a patricidal parrot.  However, we don’t just put these protests together just for the hell of it.  That’s what Burning Palooza and Festival of the Bugaboos are for.

Unfortunately, we have a plot worthy of a Batman villain to poison New York City’s drinking water (and the water of the entire Delaware River Basin).

But in Batman Begins, Ra’s al Ghul wanted to poison Gotham’s water to destroy what he believed to be a corrupt city beyond saving.  The hydraulic fracturing industry and the politicians supporting hydro-fracking in NY and a natural gas pipeline to New York seem to be supporting it either because they are corrupt (See Tom Ridge’s claim on Colbert that hydraulic fracturing has never poisoned a water source), or for the infinitely dumber and less villainous belief that they will be saving New York’s struggling economy by encouraging this practice.

As I’ve previously noted, it would be much easier just to pay college activists with their do-nothing English degrees to directly poison the rivers, swamps, and private wells, and just do away with the complications of a hydraulic fracturing industry as the middleman.  Especially since most of these companies will be bringing in experienced fracking crews from other (already damaged states such as Pennsylvania, Texas, Colorado), and we’ve got plenty of idiots with degrees and blogs who are just begging to dress up like the riddler and go about a-defecating in people’s wells.  Hell, that’s just a standard Friday night in Brooklyn.

What really irks me is that people are moving forward with this natural gas pipeline and pushing hydraulic fracturing because some really rich business people are saying its a good way to become rich.  Would you trust a guy covered head to toe in tattoos what he thinks about you getting one?  Clearly, he’s landed on one side of that issue, and has made tattoos one of the more important things in his life.  Beyond that, given the blatant disaster it would be for the environment (and later on, the economy when people start getting sick or fleeing the state or  relying heavily on the government for water and health care costs), perhaps we should look for better reasons than a get-rich quick scheme.

It’s Gordon Gekko meets the Riddler.  After all, they both wear suits with question marks.  If all this has left you wanting to dread your hair and become a rhyming pedant who listens to Dead Prez’s “I’m a African” because we are all evolutionarily African (forget that its a Black Nationalist anthem), then you are in luck!

This Saturday, June 25th, there is a statewide day of action to go after the stupidity of this pipeline.  Go to: http://gasmain.org/weblog/ to find some dreadlocks near you.



About Big Adam

A NYC doorman, a community organizer, wannabe ape, sometimes blogger, sometimes writer, always crossword puzzle incompleter, I will ride bicycles with your papa, dance Bhangra with your mama, take you on dates that cost nada.
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One Response to White people with dreadlocks: Fight Hydraulic Fracturing

  1. Pingback: Rally | Randal Putnam Loves to Pedal

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